I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When are your genitals available?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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