I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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