i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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