Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
