Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
