i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
