She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
