Yo dont text me then not text me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
