And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
