girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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