You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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