don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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