Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
