Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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