Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
