69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You pole danced in your parka.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
