Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize