I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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