I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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