I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
