Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
