I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize