i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
