I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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