thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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