you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
