he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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