hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
