Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
did i walk over a car last night?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
