I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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