Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
