I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
