well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
