Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my liver is dry heaving
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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