So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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