So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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