would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
