Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Farmville is her only friend.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
