I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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