Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
