you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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