I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
