Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
