i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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