I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life