she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.