Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
