i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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