yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need to sanitize my soul.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
