youre lurking in front of me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
