Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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