Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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