I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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