thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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