She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
