yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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