come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
