We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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