I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just cropdusted the office
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you never un-have a 4some
I deserve this hangover.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
