I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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