very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
