I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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