so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
